It is difficult to put into words how I feel about the Pulse massacre. Even now, on the eve of its one-year anniversary, words are not adequate enough to describe the pain I have in my heart for the innocent victims, survivors, and their families. I ask myself, "Why did this have to happen?" The truth is, no one but God knows the answer. I can tell you that as a gay man, the events of June 12, 2016 left a scar on my soul and put in me the fear that the same thing could happen to me. That ever-present fear will probably never go away. Each time I went out to a gay-friendly establishment like Bulldogs of Midtown Atlanta, GA or the Monster Bar of Manhattan in New York City since the massacre, the thought of a crazed gunman coming in and shooting at the crowd of people never left my mind. That may be abnormal to some people, but for me, it is, unfortunately, a new normal. I hope and pray that I will find the peace that will ultimately dissipate those thoughts.
For the victims of that heinous crime, my tears won't stop flowing. I didn't know any of them personally, but I do know that we all shared the commonality of believing that love is love and that it transcends sexual orientation. As I think about Pulse itself, I think of more than just a nightclub or a memorial site. Pulse means that despite death and desolation, life is still worth living. Pulse means that in a tragic loss, there is a chance for new beginnings. Pulse means that as we honor and remember those who were lost, we can prepare ourselves to gain a rebirth of strength and PRIDE. That is my fervent prayer for all of us who were and still are affected, both directly and indirectly.
In Memoriam...
- Stanley Almodovar III, age 23
- Amanda Alvear, 25
- Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26
- Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33
- Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21
- Martin Benitez Torres, 33
- Antonio D. Brown, 30
- Darryl R. Burt II, 29
- Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24
- Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28
- Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31
- Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25
- Luis D. Conde, 39
- Cory J. Connell, 21
- Tevin E. Crosby, 25
- Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50
- Deonka D. Drayton, 32
- Mercedez M. Flores, 26
- Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22
- Juan R. Guerrero, 22
- Paul T. Henry, 41
- Frank Hernandez, 27
- Miguel A. Honorato, 30
- Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40
- Jason B. Josaphat, 19
- Eddie J. Justice, 30
- Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25
- Christopher A. Leinonen, 32
- Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49
- Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35
- Akyra Monet Murray, 18
- Kimberly Morris, 37
- Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27
- Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20
- Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25
- Eric I. Ortiz-Rivera, 36
- Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32
- Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25
- Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37
- Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24
- Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24
- Xavier E. Serrano Rosado, 35
- Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, 25
- Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34
- Shane E. Tomlinson, 33
- Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25
- Luis S. Vielma, 22
- Luis D. Wilson-Leon, 37
- Jerald A. Wright, 31
