What Pulse Means to Me: One Year Later

Life, as we all know, is a precious and fragile gift. Tomorrow is never promised to anyone. For me, June 12, 2016 started off as a normal day and it ended in heartbreak and confusion. I was working as a dishwasher and a cashier at the Campbell-Stone North Apartments in Sandy Springs, Georgia. Little did I know, nearly 456 miles south of where I was located, carnage and tragedy ensued. The Pulse nightclub on 1912 South Orange Avenue in Orlando, Florida was supposed to be a haven for the LGBTQ community and its allies. It was supposed to be a place for people to congregate and dance in peace. Sadly, in the two o'clock hour early that morning, it would become the place of the deadliest mass shooting in American history. 49 people were killed and 58 people were injured in a vicious act of hate and terrorism...

It is difficult to put into words how I feel about the Pulse massacre. Even now, on the eve of its one-year anniversary, words are not adequate enough to describe the pain I have in my heart for the innocent victims, survivors, and their families. I ask myself, "Why did this have to happen?" The truth is, no one but God knows the answer. I can tell you that as a gay man, the events of June 12, 2016 left a scar on my soul and put in me the fear that the same thing could happen to me. That ever-present fear will probably never go away. Each time I went out to a gay-friendly establishment like Bulldogs of Midtown Atlanta, GA or the Monster Bar of Manhattan in New York City since the massacre, the thought of a crazed gunman coming in and shooting at the crowd of people never left my mind. That may be abnormal to some people, but for me, it is, unfortunately, a new normal. I hope and pray that I will find the peace that will ultimately dissipate those thoughts.

For the victims of that heinous crime, my tears won't stop flowing. I didn't know any of them personally, but I do know that we all shared the commonality of believing that love is love and that it transcends sexual orientation. As I think about Pulse itself, I think of more than just a nightclub or a memorial site. Pulse means that despite death and desolation, life is still worth living. Pulse means that in a tragic loss, there is a chance for new beginnings. Pulse means that as we honor and remember those who were lost, we can prepare ourselves to gain a rebirth of strength and PRIDE. That is my fervent prayer for all of us who were and still are affected, both directly and indirectly.

In Memoriam...

• Stanley Almodovar III, age 23
• Amanda Alvear, 25
• Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26
• Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33
• Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21
• Martin Benitez Torres, 33
• Antonio D. Brown, 30
• Darryl R. Burt II, 29
• Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24
• Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28
• Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31
• Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25
• Luis D. Conde, 39
• Cory J. Connell, 21
• Tevin E. Crosby, 25
• Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50
• Deonka D. Drayton, 32
• Mercedez M. Flores, 26
• Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22
• Juan R. Guerrero, 22
• Paul T. Henry, 41
• Frank Hernandez, 27
• Miguel A. Honorato, 30
• Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40
• Jason B. Josaphat, 19
• Eddie J. Justice, 30
• Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25
• Christopher A. Leinonen, 32
• Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49
• Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35
• Akyra Monet Murray, 18
• Kimberly Morris, 37
• Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27
• Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20
• Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25
• Eric I. Ortiz-Rivera, 36
• Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32
• Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25
• Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37
• Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24
• Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24
• Xavier E. Serrano Rosado, 35
• Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, 25
• Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34
• Shane E. Tomlinson, 33
• Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25
• Luis S. Vielma, 22
• Luis D. Wilson-Leon, 37
• Jerald A. Wright, 31

The Chocolate Aspie's Rejuvenation

Hello everyone! I know what you all are thinking: "The Chocolate Aspie must be finished blogging for good." Well, after months of inactivity and personal changes, I decided that it was high time for me to stop neglecting my creation and start putting a lot more time and energy in it. With all of the controversial events that took place in the world last year, I admit that I missed out on plenty of opportunities to blog. I sincerely regret that, but now, it is time to make amends for that. I vow that you all will see and hear more from me in the coming days! Thank you for the support that you have given me!

Where In The Hell Have You Been, Chocolate Aspie?

Yes, yes, I know what you are all thinking. You all are thinking, "Wow, it's been a quite a long time since he has posted something. Where has The Chocolate Aspie been? Where did he go? I thought he was dead." Well world, The Chocolate Aspie is DEFINITELY NOT dead, he is alive and well, and he wants to apologize for those who missed him and his insightful posts. Although I have been temporarily inactive from this blog site, there are many people who have continued to check out my stories of struggles and success via The Chocolate Aspie Facebook and The Chocolate Aspie Google+ pages. To those individuals, I say, "THANK YOU!" To those individuals who have been inspired and educated from this blog site, I say, "KEEP ON READING AND SPREADING THE WORD ABOUT ME!" You all make The Chocolate Aspie who he is!

Now, as I said earlier, I know that it has been a long time since I logged in to talk to you all; I am sincerely ready to make amends for that offense. My last official blog post was on December 30, 2014, and since then, a lot has happened in my life. For those of you who follow the blog site strictly, you all did not know that on December 14, 2014, my great grandmother, Rosie Lee Sims-Patrick, affectionately known as Big Mama, passed away from a battle with pneumonia. She was 94 years old and the matriarch of my paternal grandmother's family. Two days after Big Mama's transition, I received the tragic news that my god brother, Rodney Sylvester Williams, Jr., made his transition. He was only 24 years old and his health deteriorated at a rapid rate. Just when I thought I had been dealt with enough losses, on January 10, 2015, my mother had to break the news that my paternal grandmother, Mozelle Jackson Bishop, transitioned after suffering cardiac arrest. She was 79. Those were three shocking deaths in less than a month and I really couldn't find the gumption to talk about them on the blog site. So, I decided to take some time off from blogging until I was fully prepared to come back...

Without a real professional and personal life, my life was going at a slow and mundane pace, until my mother suggested to me that I enroll into Job Corps. I was debating about going to Job Corps months ago, but there were some people who felt it was an unwise decision. They brought up the fact that I had an undergraduate degree and that going into Job Corps would be "going backwards." My mother, however, said that I had nothing to lose and reminded me that my late god brother Rodney went to the Job Corps center in Brunswick, GA and found employment with the city's sewer company. He ended up becoming my paramount inspiration for beginning my journey in the Atlanta Job Corps Center on May 12, 2015. After three months of education and training, I received a Business Office Administration Diploma on August 27, 2015 (I will tell you about my journey at AJCC at a later time, I promise!).

I must say, coming back to The Chocolate Aspie feels wonderful! I am hoping that more people across the globe will be informed, educated, and enlightened by my upcoming posts. I promise that will be more committed than ever to being the UNAPOLOGETIC and UNFILTERED voice!

Looking Back And Moving Forward: The Chocolate Aspie's End Of The Year Message

"Should all acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?"

As the world bids farewell to the year 2014, I must take this opportunity to reflect on my own life during this year and how I plan to go forward for the year 2015. To be honest, there weren't a lot of events or special happenings in my personal life this time around. It is a stark contrast to what has happened (and what is still happening) in the world at large. I am grateful that I lived to see my 22nd birthday in July and I am also grateful for the support I have received through this blog site, which was launched in October. There are so many goals I have for this blog site. I want to have a logo and money for ads by my 23rd birthday, I want to accumulate more followers, and I want to start the process of recording videos or "vlogging." My only hope is that these goals will be realized, that I can continue to give my best towards this venture, and that the support and following of The Chocolate Aspie increases. I look forward to the upcoming year and I pray that all of us are here next year this time.

The Chocolate Aspie's Question Of The Day #14

Question #14:

In honor of Christmas, how do you celebrate it each year? 

Asperger's Syndrome: Myths And Truths

Earlier today, I discovered this interesting article from http://www.bbc.com/ entitled "Lesser-Known Things About Asperger's Syndrome," by Robyn Steward. In my opinion, this article definitely pinpoints what is true and what is mythologized about Aspergers. If you want to read it for yourself, just click on the link below. I would love for you all to post your opinions about it, whether your reviews are positive or negative. Remember, although commentary is welcome on my blog site, try your best to disagree without being disagreeable!

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-ouch-28746359

The Chocolate Aspie's Question Of The Day #13

Question #13:

To my fellow Aspies, how do you display pride in your exceptionality/exceptionalities?