When Will MY Time Come?

There are so many days that I question my life. I ask myself, "How come I don't have friends," "How come no one has hired me for a job after all of the applications and interviews," "How come I haven't found love," "How come my relatives don't like me," and "How come I don't have anything to look forward to?" Throughout my childhood, friendship was foreign and being bullied was a regular occurrence. In my college years, I felt like my life would drastically change and I would have the social life I always dreamed of. That didn't happen. When I graduated from college, I felt that a few months would go by and I would have employment in my field. That didn't happen. As I sit here typing this post, I am wondering what the new year will bring for me... I am wondering if I will make it to see 2015. All I can say is that I hope me and my household make through 2014 in its entirety. I am so desperate for a positive change in my life. I want to go out and be a part of the hustle and bustle of humanity. I want to experience real friendship and genuine social connections. I don't want to become a recluse or a hermit, constantly surrounded by the four walls of my room. When will I be free from my loneliness? My mother always tries to encourage me and she believes that this experience that I am going through is momentary. She says that maybe my time just hasn't come yet and that maybe my time will come in the near future. Although I do my best to believe my mother's words and also have faith in God that my life will change, I can't help but feel doubt and uncertainty. It has been so long since I felt confident about my personal and professional progression. I have been on eight job interviews this year with no positive end results and I had to remove myself from the association of people that I thought were my friends. It has been discouraging and disheartening. Still, I am doing my best to hold on and live life one day at a time without bitterness or grief...