Out Of The Loop: The Chocolate Aspie's Diagnosis, Part Three (Final)

In March 1997, as recommended by Shiela Cannon, M.D. of the Atlanta Area Psychological Associates, P.C., an attempt was made to test me for an attention deficit disorder. Two different instruments (the IVA and TOVA, which were successfully used with other four-year-olds) were used in an attempt to evaluate me; Both attempts failed. According to the examiner, I was unable to understand and follow directions on the IVA. On the TOVA, I became frustrated, refused to continue, and started kicking my feet and making mean faces and growling noises. I was noted to be hyperactive and I exhibited poor impulse control, and no sense of boundary (For example, I was apt to touch, feel, and hug Dr. Cannon). I was also noted wanting excessive closeness, as I attempted to climb into the doctor's lap and sought a great deal of physical contact from her, my mother, and my grandmother. By the latter part of March, my mother and grandmother took me to another doctor, Patricia Allen Brown, PhD. of the Atlanta Area Psychological Associates, P.C., in another attempt to officially diagnose me. I was taken back to her on April 8, 1997 for a second appointment.

Monday, April 21, 1997: A letter arrived for my mother from Dr. Allen Brown, with news that would change my and household's lives forever. It was an official diagnosis, the answer my mother and grandmother had been searching for since I started Pre-K. In the words of Dr. Allen Brown's report, "It is my opinion that Fredrick's developmental pattern and behavioral manifestations most closely resemble a mild to moderate form of Asperger's Disorder... Fredrick has qualitative impairments in social interactions in his lack of social and emotional reciprocity, and his inability to use nonverbal behaviors to regulate social interactions. Further, he has a preoccupation with cars that is abnormal in both intensity and focus, and he has significant impairments in educational areas of functioning." My mother and grandmother stated in the first meeting with Dr. Allen Brown that I had an inability to empathize with others, given that I was so affectionate; The doctors noted that as well (Cruel irony, isn't it). While I was told that I had Asperger's Syndrome, my minuscule four-year-old mind could not comprehend how this would impact my life... Monday, April 21, 1997 was the beginning of a complex, painful, and continuous journey. It is a journey that is presently shaping me into becoming a better and stronger person. Without pressure, there cannot be a diamond.

Out Of The Loop: The Chocolate Aspie's Diagnosis, Part Two

Shortly before withdrawing from Oak Knoll, at the request of Lynne Sullivan (an Instructional Support Teacher), I was referred for a developmental evaluation in October 1996. She referred me because of possible developmental delays, specifically in the area of personal-social skills. After taking the Battelle Developmental Inventory, the Burks' Behavior Rating Scales, and the Connor's Rating Scales, it was determined that I was functioning below my chronological age in all areas of development. According to my teacher, Ms. Budd, I had difficulty following the class routine and structure, I talked out loud in class, I was too "touchy-feely," I was unable to follow class rules and directions, I demanded adult attention, I needed reminders to cooperate, take turns, and share, and I was generally non-compliant.

A month later, I was seen for a speech and language evaluation in conjunction with a Special Needs Preschool referral. The evaluation results indicated scattered language skills. I exhibited a moderate receptive language delay with specific weaknesses in the comprehension of basic concepts, syntax, and morphology. Additionally, I exhibited a mild expressive language delay. My expressive vocabulary skills appeared to be fairly well developed, though I had difficulty maintaining a given topic of reference. Based on those test results, Speech Impaired Services were warranted. By the time January 1997 came along, I was officially withdrawn from Oak Knoll Elementary School, and my mother and grandmother requested a comprehensive Preschool Team evaluation from the present-day Marcus Autism Center. They were extremely concerned about possible developmental delays and behavioral problems since I had recently been evaluated by the Fulton County School System and deemed eligible for special needs preschool services. Marcus used a neurodevelopmental evaluation, a physical examination, developmental history, Early Screening Profiles (one a Cognitive/Language Profile, the other a Self-help/Social Profile Questionnaire), a Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL), a clinical interview with my mother and grandmother, an informal behavior observation, a review of records, and finally, a clinical interview with the family. Marcus determined the following:

With expressive language, I was able to tell stories, say my full name, identify colors, state my address, count to 10, and recite the days of the week.

With receptive language, I had difficulty with multi-step commands and more complex prepositions.

With gross motor skills, I could ascend and descend stairs reciprocally, but I had difficulty peddling a tricycle.

With fine motor skills, I was thought to have a right hand preference, although sometimes I used my left hand. I was described as having an emerging pencil grasp.

With adaptive skills, I was able to use a fork, able to dress and undress myself with some support, and I was toilet trained. I did, however, have nocturnal enuresis.

With all of those procedures being done, and all of Marcus' findings, a diagnosis was unclear for me...

Out Of The Loop: The Chocolate Aspie's Diagnosis, Part One

When someone is born, that person doesn't get to choose his/her skin color, nationality, gender, eye color, or other genetic features. That person also doesn't get to choose how their minds function neurologically. I am sure that if my mother had her way, she would have given me a mind void of any mental and neurological issues. She would have given me a life void of ridicule and rejection... Well, that's not how my life turned out. No parent ever thinks that his/her child will develop a form of autism, and no amount of intestinal fortitude in the world will ever prepare a parent for the moment of impact, when he/she discovers that his/her child is autistic. I think I can speak for my mother when I say, you can never prepare yourself for that hurt.

From the moment I was born on Tuesday, July 14, 1992, I was the apple of my mother and late maternal grandparents' eyes. Growing up in the suburbs of East Point, GA, my world consisted of my mom, Joycene, and her parents, George and Mattie. I was a bright eyed, inquisitive, and intelligent little boy, and I enjoyed my household and the adventures in my backyard, playing with pine cones and digging for earthworms. I also loved cars, from small matchbox cars to big Tonka trucks. I would always line the cars up in various parts of the house, as if they were a part of a mini parking lot or funeral motorcade. I was able to properly identify any model of car that I saw driving on the highways. That fueled my desire to collect as many matchbox cars as I could (My mother still has my massive car collection to this very day). As a witness to this, my dearly departed grandmother thought that she was laying eyes on a bona fide genius with no mental flaws. Little did the family know, that was a veil that covered an earth shattering truth. 

Because I was the proclaimed "little genius," school should not have been a major issue for me. The soon-to-be former Oak Knoll Elementary School of East Point, GA was the beginning of my academic journey in 1996. I was one of about 25 students in Ms. Budd and Ms. Clinkscales' class. Our days consisted of  lessons, story time, nap time, recess, and lunch. For me, however, part of the days consisted of crawling under the desks while all of my other classmates would be sitting in a semicircle, attentive to the story being read by Ms. Budd. My mind was completely unfocused from the story, as I continued my adventure crawling under each desk. I did not intend to be a distraction to my peers, nor I did not intend to disrespect my teachers, but this was the way it was perceived. Ms. Budd eventually went to her superior to inform her of my behavior; The superior then contacted my mother and allowed her watch one of my adventures through a one way mirror. For the first time in motherhood, Mom felt completely helpless and heartbroken. She immediately contacted my grandmother, who was a retired educator and assistant principal, to ask for her professional and personal advice. My grandmother had only one option: Immediate withdrawal from Oak Knoll. From there, they would brainstorm the next steps...